Well by now chances are you've seen my fb post talking about how I had to break up with MF the woman I was seeing. If you haven't then this is probably the first time you're hearing about it. Either way I will admit that this one hit me a lot harder than any other break up has. It involves stuff from my past that I thought I had gotten over and dealt with but apparently I haven't.
First off let me say that I am ok with people who smoke weed. As drugs go it is considered one of the softer drugs out there and in all honesty if it wasn't illegal I would have tried it myself at one point. Before I start the next bit of this let me say that if you have a problem with me mentioning something someone has done that I don't agree with on the grounds that I shouldn't put their business out there stop reading now. A good number of you won't know who I'm talking about and the few who do already know what's going on in the first place.
The main reason I broke up with MF(yes I broke up with her) is because after years of her being clean she is back on drugs. That is something I can not and will not forgive. This particular reason hit me harder than any other because I have history with it. I wasn't on drugs but when I was a kid my mom was. She has been off of them for 15 years through strength of will and (in her words) "The grace of god." I was around her during a lot of that time and while I didn't know specifically what she was doing I knew she was on drugs. There were a few years where they took her away from me and I didn't see her and rarely heard from her. It took me a few years to forgive her and get past it. I'm glad my mom has been back in my life for all the years she has been and I love her a great deal. That is not something I want to deal with in my life again. I know that addiction is a powerful thing to escape but in all honesty I no longer care. Even though I didn't know her when she was on it before I have an idea of what type of person she'll become. While I've dealt with most of those issues, finding about what MF has done brought a lot of the feelings I had gotten past back. I'll get over this in the long run but I'll not be with her any time soon and if we do end up in each other's lives again it will only be as friends.
